Funny And Relatable “By Age 30 You Should Have…” Tweets

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Everyone has their own idea of what it means to be in their thirties, and what you should have accomplished by the time you turn 30. In this extremely informative post you’ll find a variety of tweets answering this question. Also don’t forget to leave a comment with your very own suggestion regarding this issue!

by age 30 you should have accumulated at least two grudges that you will take all the way to the grave

By age 30 you should have at least one pair of nice going out socks and 53 comfy house socks

By age 30, you should know that the company you work for is not your family.

By age 30, you should have lower back pain, one failed relationship that almost broke you and a constant sense of dread about where society is headed.

By age 30 you should have extensively fantasized about disappearing without a trace to reinvent yourself as the sexy, mysterious owner of a quirky coffeeshop bookstore in a quaint little seaside village where strange murders have recently occurred

By age 30, you should have 1-2 handfuls of self-assembled-furniture allen wrenches that you are unsure what to do with.

By age 30 you should have a total distrust of politics, a firm belief you'll never retire, and a pet that your parents begrudgingly accept as the closest thing they'll get to grandchildren

By age 30 you should have at least 40 different tote bags you don‘t need but keep stuffed into one larger tote bag which is the one you‘d technically need the most but now can no longer access

By age 30 you should have a box of cables that you haven’t used in years but that you refuse to part with.

By age 30, you should own more unread books than one human being can realistically be expected to read in their lifetime

by age 30 you should have a nemesis. a mortal enemy. a lifelong antagonist.

by age 30 you should have an email address you’ve abandoned because it is just a barren wasteland of spam and coupons

By age 30 you should have: $3 in savings $5,000 in credit card debt Existential dread A favorite spoon One half-dead plant you feel really bad about because your mom keeps asking for grandkids but you’re not ready and you thought this basil plant would be a good place to start

By age 30 you should have wielded your father’s lightsaber, destroyed the Death Star, and earned a medal from a princess.

By age 30 you should have mastered -waking up -laying around doing nothing -doing nothing until you’re hungry enough to get food

by age 30 you should have a friend who has supported you through roughly 20 to 500 hyperfixations

By age 30 you should have 10 close friends with specific team roles to help you pull off an elaborate heist

By age 30, you should be smart enough to realize life's better when no one knows anything about you.

By age 30, you should have at least 4-5 abandoned side projects

by age 30 you should have 12 apostles and begin your ministry

by age 30 you should have a large folder of very important documents and absolutely nowhere to put it

By age 30 you should have extensively fantasized about disappearing without a trace to become Baba Yaga in a faraway swamp where locals in the small rustic village nearby spread rumors about you in fearful whispers

By age 30, you should have developed the ability to detect disturbances from microscopic organisms in your vicinity and efficiently gather them in your enormous mouth.

13 thoughts on “Funny And Relatable “By Age 30 You Should Have…” Tweets”

  2. I’m 45. The Allen wrenches and cables have taken over. Not even the tote bags can stop them now. If only I had kept those twist ties from bread bags in the junk drawer… LEARN FROM MY MISTAKE

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  3. By age 30 you should have a much deeper relationship with a comfortable couch than you do with any living being. My sofa is my favorite drug dealer. Once my butt hits it, I am out like a light within five minutes like someone just injected me with heroin.

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  4. By age 30 you should be old enough to know better, but still young enough to not give a damn.

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  6. Accomplished most of the above. Especially those which have to do with existential despair.
    True, I am way past my thirty, but I am still feeling proud for my achievements.

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  10. BY age 30, you shouldn’t be able to remember the cost of a t-shirt, because you’ve got drawers full of free trade show kit.

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  11. I must be a late bloomer. It took me til 40 or so to feel that crappy about life. But, then, 30 year-olds these days are more like 15 year-olds.

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  12. By 30, you should no longer be sleeping on the couch in your Mom’s basement and gaming was just a phase you went through.

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