1. Have a crush on a guy but he has a girlfriend? Take a stick of lipstick and write LIAR on his windshield. He may become single soon.
2. Spill drink in the seat in front of you at the movies to avoid people blocking your view.
3. Hotel room doesn’t have a fridge to keep beer, etc. cold? Call the front desk and tell them you need one “to keep your insulin refrigerated”.
4. Buy a “baby on board” sign regardless of your parenthood status, if you happen to be in a nasty crash paramedics and firemen will save you first.
5. Visiting someone in the hospital? Stage a photo or two in their hospital bed for the perfect future sick/injured/don’t wanna excuse.
6. if you’re stuck on an annoying call, put your phone on airplane mode instead of just hanging up. The other person will see “call failed” instead of “call ended”.
7. If the person sitting in front of you on a flight reclines their seat all the way back and leaves you with no room, turn on the air con above you to full blast and point it at the top of their head.
8. If a relative keeps asking you about having kids, lie that the wife is pregnant. A few months later, tell them there was a miscarriage so they’ll feel uncomfortable bringing up the subject again.
9. Save business cards of people you don’t like. If you ever hit a parked car accidentally, just write “sorry” on the back and leave it on the windshield.
10. Steal a traffic cone and carry it around in your trunk in case you need to save a really prime parking spot.
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