Ladies, gentlemen, and those who bravely walk the fashion tightrope barefoot, we present to you the pinnacle of human ingenuity: Crocs Toe Charms, the accessories you never knew you needed for the shoes you never wanted in the first place.
Crocs are, without a doubt, the most controversial piece of footwear to grace our planet since the advent of humanity. If Crocs were a person, they’d be that distant cousin who shows up at every family reunion uninvited but still manages to convince everyone to participate in karaoke. You hate them, you love them, you can’t escape them. Just when you thought your Crocs couldn’t get any more polarizing, enter these ugly things, the little plastic doodads designed by someone who obviously enjoys human misery.
When you first pop these bad boys on your Crocs, you will be amazed at how quickly people notice. Strangers will stop you in the street just to say, “Damn, are those… toe charms?” followed by an awkward pause and polite smile, as they try to reconcile what they’ve just seen. Friends will suddenly seem far less inclined to make eye contact with you, and your chances of getting laid will fall to zero.
In conclusion, these charms are the perfect way to lean all the way into the ridiculousness of Crocs ownership. They take a shoe that already looks like it belongs on a muppet’s feet and elevate it to the status of pure absurdity.
If you feel like throwing away your hard-earned money on stupid stuff, you can get Crocs Toe Charms on Amazon. Please note that our site is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.
How can anyone possibly live without those
This is the reason aliens won’t visit Earth
Now I really do need a pair of crocs
Laugh all you want, but Crocs are really comfortable around the house if you don’t like slippers or your feet sweat or something.
As the official toe model for this shoot, I just want to thank the lighting and sound guys, craft services and Kevin, the key grip on the shoot. I won’t forget you guys.