Living the daily mundane life is hard. Someone clearly agrees with us, because there’s a company Winks For Days that makes merit badges for adults. They’re essentially completion badges for pretty normal everyday tasks, but they help you feel a little bit more accomplished.
Is this for real? Yes, very much so. Wet Pants Denim is a real company that will sell you a pair of jeans that look like you just pissed yourself. New jeans will cost you $75, however you can send them jeans that you already own and they will piss-stain them for $30. From their website: “In an effort to reach a wider customer base and do our part to reduce textile pollution, we’re happy to provide the imagery of authentic urinary incontinence, on a pair of jeans that you already own, at a fraction of the cost.”
Have a scroll through this fabulous list of the “What’s Wrong With Your Dog” online community. We promise, you’ll have a whole new appreciation for the range of emotions and depth of character that derpy dogs have.
50 Nerds of Grey is a brilliant Twitter parody account that’s totally safe for work so you can read it at your desk. The only thing you have to worry about is having to explain to your boss why you’re laughing so much.
It looks like some people have lots of free time to come up with weird stuff. They have actually started ordering googly eyes and sticking them on every single cat butt they can find to make them look like elephants. Scroll down to see the funniest examples!
Donut, sausage, or potato: the vintage beauty pageant queens covered (and were covered in) all kinds of food. Why don’t we get these kind of beauty pageants today?
If you were looking for a sign, look no further: Wallingford Sign is the one. Each week it provides you a new joke or a witty observation. This funny initiative was started by Seattle Propane at Wallingford Chevron back in 2005 when an auto repair shop was converted into a convenience store. The owners say, that it had always been easy to think of useful messages to put on the sign for things like service promotions and store specials and the like, but they wanted to do something different with it. And so they did. Scroll down to see the funniest examples.
The Twinkle Tush is essentially a little necklace that you can wrap around the base of your cats tail that has a little jewel that hangs off it to cover your cat’s butthole. What’s worse than having some people over only to have your cat walk out in the room flaunting it’s uncovered butthole all over the house? As your guests see your cats anus, your grandmother gasps in horror and your mother faints to the floor. If only there were a better way! Simply put the butthole necklace over your cat’s tail and the shame your cat walks around with will be hidden from view. The only problem: when cat goes to take a dump, you’re going to end up with an ass bling full of poop.
There are times when your body needs a jacuzzi after long day of hard laborious work, and then there are times when your balls need a good jacuzzi session after getting hit by a baseball, an accidental kick from a kid, or long bike ride. Testicuzzi is the perfect product for such situations. It’s a tiny (no offense) jacuzzi meant specifically for your a set of balls to placed in for a nice relaxing spa session.
What do you get someone that has it all? Boobies and butts, butts and boobies, of course! Now pickled for your gustatory pleasure! No, not really for your gustatory pleasure, for your viewing pleasure only. These jars of pickled butts and pickled boobies (and pickled people heads if you’re super weird) are not edible. And not made of real butts and boobies either. This Etsy seller weaves, puckers, cracks, and nipples them out of some kind of textile, and then smooshes them together in jars to create the perfect novelty gift for your favorite ass man or breast man. Or super weird decapitated head man…
These beautiful middle finger candles were created to help you display exactly how you feel with both grace and assertiveness. Whether you desire to burn them or just display them as a conversation piece on the mantle is up to you. Available in different colors and scents from various sellers on Amazon and Etsy, middle finger candles seem to be the latest interior decoration sensation.
The Absent Father action figure toy is the perfect gift for those whose daddies ran away. OK perhaps not the perfect gift but hilarious never the less. In case you missed the joke here’s what you get in the packaging: nothing. No father action figure. He’s not there. He’s gone and left. Never to be seen again.
Cozy up next to the fire pit with a warm, cuddly… cock and balls? This handmade Crochet Penis Blanket will make you snug as a bug – perfect for cool summer evenings and Netflix & chill nights on the couch. Which you’ll probably be doing alone, because the blanket is made mummy-style, with a shaft big enough for just one, and we’re not sure if anyone, dude or lady, no matter how well you know them, is going to be down for hangin’ with you all cocooned up inside a giant boner.
Artist Hank Schmidt in der Beek and photographer Fabian Schubert offer a hilarious take on classic outdoor painting, a humorous series of photographs that show artist going to various scenic locations just to paint his own shirt. They started this project in 2009 and it’s still ongoing. If you like their artistic approach and want to support their work, you can buy a book on Amazon that features their best creations.
When you think of cross stitch, you probably think of Bible quotes hanging off the walls at your grandma’s house. There’s nothing wrong with that, but for those of you who want a little more from your embroidery, check out these hilariously brilliant examples created by Russian-American artist Katerina Lukashina.
