Funny Reviews of Food Enjoyed While Taking a Shower

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There are two amazing things in this life: eating and taking hot showers. Why not do both at the same time? That was probably the idea behind @GazpachoMachine Twitter account. He does brilliant reviews of the simplest and most ordinary food, and then posts a photo and a little accompanying text. From pizza to watermelon and pineapple, from ribeye to cotton candy, you can find absolutely everything your heart desires. You can also slide into his DMs and order a review of some special dish you like. For example, one follower asked the author of the page to eat pudding while in the shower. If you’re wondering what pudding tastes like under running water, it’s about 5/10. Scroll down to see our favorite reviews!

Shower Food Review 37: Cotton Candy - For some reason this was the most highly requested Shower Food Review. Perhaps people wanted to see me accidentally get it wet and have it dissolve, like that sad raccoon in that viral youtube video. But I am not a raccoon. I am a man. 4/10

Shower Food Review: 32oz Tomahawk Ribeye- thnx to your donations I was able to buy this huge steak. If I were my ex right now I'd be having some second thoughts. One day you people will get sick of these posts. But I wont cry when it's over. I'll smile because it happened. 10/10

Shower Food Review 19: Hot Dog - Ever since I started reviewing shower food my life's gone downhill. My relationship fell apart & I'm very behind at work. I'm now single & might be fired. But it's the only thing u ppl like so I keep doing it. Plz stop liking & sharing these. 9/10

Shower Food Review 38: Pineapple- Someone sent me $8 to eat this because "the ladies will like it." Idk what that means but I took a few freestyle chomps but quickly realized it could be dangerous for my teeth so I pulled out my shower knife & went to town. 8/10 for experts only.

Shower Food Review 28: Rotisserie Chicken - A fan paid me to eat this. It was the perfect size for my grip. I dont want to be known for eating food in the shower. I want to succeed by telling jokes & making interesting content. But as far as shower foods go, this was great. 8/10

Shower Food Review 26: Movie Theater Popcorn - I love popcorn & movies so thought why not combine them with my love of showers. Never had so much fun in the shower, Sonic is one of my favorite films. Shut the hell up about "what if your food gets wet?" I'm a fucking expert. 8/10

Shower Food Review 18: Bacon Hamburger from Five Guys - They added a 3rd patty & forgot the cheese so I just had a dry ass mountain of meat. It made me reflect on the people in my life who I have forgotten. Gonna scroll through my contacts & reach out to old friends today. 2/10

Shower Food Review 2X: I reached out to Little Caesers to see if they'd sponsor a shower Food review. They said no. I said what if I just lie & say it's a sponsored post? They said that's illegal & they could sue. So here is my official Review of Little Caesers in the shower:0/10

Shower Food Review 32: KFC Bucket - Life is full of little victories. I was so thankful for this nice crispy chicken I almost forgot to take a photo. I held onto this bucket for dear life so I didn't spill it. Hold on tight to the things that are important to you in life. 8/10

Shower Food Review 33: Watermelon - So many people asked me to try this in the shower. What is it about the watermelon that inspires such wonder. Perhaps it reminds us of our childhood summers. I don't fear getting older. But we all lose parts of ourselves along the way. 7/10

Shower Food Review 21: Pizza Egg Rolls - Imagine if an Italian person & a Chinese person met. Well, they might come up with a little something like this. Since I've started reviewing food in the shower several funny & intelligent women have dm'd me. Maybe things will be ok. 8/10

Shower Food Review 15: Sushi - My life is a movie. My teachers said I'd never make it in life but here I am eating shower sushi for breakfast. This was tricky to eat in the shower but worth it for the feeling of elegance. When will Brendan Fraser make a film about my life? 7/10

Shower Food Review #10: Orange - Lots of people recommend I try out this "Shower Orange" trend & not having had an orange in several years I figured I'd give it a go. I have to say I was not a fan. The exterior was bitter & tough to bite through, although the inside was nice 3/10

Shower Food Review #4- Taco Bell Soft Taco: I accidentally dropped this taco while trying to take the photo. Not the taco's fault but gonna have to give it a 0/10. Might give it another try in the future. A disappointing day in an already disappointing week

Shower Food Review #11: Peanuts - I love peanuts but it's hard to eat them without making a mess. I was really enjoying eating these in the shower until I clogged the drain again. It's times like these I'm glad I have my plumber on speed dial. All good things have a price. 8/10

Shower Food Review 34: Pudding- People get so mad when I post a picture of something silly or tell a dumb joke. They dm me, "Stick to the Shower Food Reviews buddy." Anyways some freak emailed me asking me to eat pudding in the shower. I think it's some kind of fetish thing. 5/10

Shower Food Review 27: Leftover Easter Ham - I got this big ham but no one showed up for Easter dinner. Well, their loss is my gain & I got to eat this bad boy all by myself in the shower. Ham is great in the shower but grease got everywhere & now my shower is very slippery. 7/10

Shower Food Review #7: Steak on a Fork - One of my more ambitious shower foods. The steam helped break down the steak making it even more tender. As always making a mess was not an issue as you're already in the shower. Tasty but won't be having a shower steak again anytime soon.

Shower Food Review 20: White Cheddar Popcorn - This was a little messy but otherwise enjoyable. Reminds me of a girl I used to see who loved these. I would steal one small bag a day from the office and give it to her. Checking her page now I see she just got engaged. Huh. 7/10

Shower Food Review 36: Cereal- I haven't had a bowl of cereal in years. I put on 1 of my favorite cartoons from my childhood. It reminded me of a simpler time, before all the disappointments. Remember: If you're always looking behind you, you wont see what's in front of you. 9/10

Shower Food Review 22: Big Mac (Fan Request) - I dont like Big Macs but wanted to make this stranger's dream come true. I spend a lot of time doing things I dislike to make others happy. I should learn to say no & focus on myself. Each day I learn something new about myself. 3/10

8 thoughts on “Funny Reviews of Food Enjoyed While Taking a Shower”

  3. Truly sad and useless! 10/10. Would definitely consider it art. Gery glad for the lack of capybaras for a change!

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